1. On the first day God created the sky and the Earth. For administrative reasons he created the whole Earth in one place to be able to master it better and depends on only the Republicans, which he knew better.
The land was empty and not leased. It was full of weeds because people were at the bar and did not work. God told people that it can’t be so, that it is a sin, but people explained why they can’t work: there was no light day and night. Then God said: “Let there be light !”
“But not too much !”, people who already went to bed said.
2. On the second day God created the sky ,so that he could fly by helicopter when the road was crowded.
3. On the third day God separeted the land from the waters and suddenly he could sail with the yacht.
4. On the fourth day God created the lights: the sun, the stars and the light on Trump Tower.
5. On the fifth day God want to go fishing, but the waters had so much fish in them as a Whiskey bottle. Then he created fish and some birds, so fisherman can look at something until a fish is caught.
6. On the sixth day God wanted to make his pig farm in the Trump Tower, but the rooms were empty and the butchers were blowing with the knives because they had nothing to stab. So God created the animals of the Earth and at the end of the day even the man, because it was hard for the pigs to stab themselves.
7. On the seventh day God rested, which was an easy thing to do when the FBI didn’t follow him…
SOURCE: Catavencii –adapted