No one asks you to be a successful politician. It’s really a bad idea to be successful because after that you are in the spotlight and you can have many unpleasant actions before you can enjoy a cheap meal at the White House.
However, if you want to be in the show, here’s how you can:
1. Blame the predecessors for all the unfulfilment of your mandate. Of course, if you were a good enough politician you took care that you would be your own predecessor from another party, under another name or gender, but that does not mean that you are an incapable, liar or thief. It just mean that your predecessors were like that.
You are super OK, all you have to do is not have too many achievements, so your successors won’t boast with them . And if your successors are you again, that it’s better. So you don’t have to work in vain: it’s their job to solve the bullshit you left behind.
2. Do your best you look worse than those who voted you. It’s not easy, but we do not forget that they were so stupid that voted you. However, with a little exercise you can overtake them. Choose an animal to mention it every time you open your mouth, give yourself away as you have received a university degree without having ever attended courses.
Show your ugly tower and unsightly villa in a musical clip and verbalize everything that goes through your mind and mutilate the words, and don’t forget to mention Soros. Soros is the key that unlocks access to the resources of stupidity to which you have not even dreamed, so use him wisely.
3. Vigorously deny everything you are asked ant say that those are fake news. To say “yes”, that is for fools. To show you are weak and easy to control. Instead, if you deny everything whatever you are asked, they can never catch you. When they ask if you have a plan, you deny you have a plan. When they ask if you stole, you deny that you stole. If someone asks you what time it is, you deny the existence of time and space.
If you know nothing, you have seen and heard nothing, no one can ever reproach you anything. And people will say that you are the hero who dared to say “no”.
Of course, there is the possibility that a smart reporter to ask you “Are you intelligent ?”, but then you can deny peacefully because you don’t have to lie.
SOURCE: Catavencii – adapted